[CMOTD]

  "King’s Lynn woman in court after reversing into parked car while drink-driving on way to Alcoholics Anonymous meeting."

[Anthony B]

Another one:

'It's coming home'  

Sorry if that one hurts   (I was for the lioneses)

[Kevan]

'It' can only come home if it's been here before, which it has, once by the England team in 1966, and the 'It' in question is the Jules Rimet Cup which Brazil was awarded in perpetuity following their third title in 1970...

So 'It' will never come home

...but those facts hurt feelings so let them believe, after all we're talking about the same people who also believe a player is guilty of doing something he's never been found guilty of doing, police dropped charges but heyho let's fight the good fight and wreck his career because he looks like he was guilty even though he's now married this alleged victim and she's now bore their child but she could have sued him for every penny he had...except that needs water tight proof which doesn't exist

[CMOTD]

And another cracker:
"Prince Harry flies from LA to Shanghai to promote greener travel."

[Kevan]

Oh come on surely that's fake 

[CMOTD]

Nope, absolutely genuine. Reported in all reputable newspapers and on TV news channels.

[Kevan]

irony at it's finest